Music Video Mix Turing Test

My body woke me up at 5am, like it does pretty much every morning. I couldn’t stop thinking about the playlist that I found last night. I had to go back and try to find it (browser history, easy).

I watched the first few videos over again, but as I scrolled through the list, I realized that it was very extensive. I started wondering who put this playlist together. The content was perfect. It was as if someone had collected all of the best videos for me in this exact moment. I couldn’t do much with the playlist. I couldn’t really share it, I couldn’t find a link to it… all it said was “Mix” at the top. (???) Whoever… whatever created this, appears to really know me.

Does this count as a Turing test?

Since I can’t seem to let myself update my youtube account because of my longstanding fight with Google+, I am going to do the absurd, new-school, old-person thing and copy All of the videos into my own playlist.

On your wing

i have very intense dreams occasionally. I had this spectacular dream in the summer of 2014.

****** Copied Dream Notes *****

as i went to bed i prompted myself to go find someone in the dream space. I feel silly saying that. most of me doesn’t actually believe that it works like that but at the same time, part of me feels that that kind of openness is vital to wild dreams. Not to mention all of the people and personalities that i meet while dreaming. it is hard to explain. so for now, that is just how it is. I was suggesting to myself that I meet someone from OKCupid.

The dream starts with me living out a scene from a video i watched at work. The video was some pretty amazing aerobatics from a recent air show. For some reason, one of the impressive scenes (in the dream) was a very large red cargo ship climbing high into the air. I latched onto this scene and “placed” my dream self at its wing. I still saw flashes of the other air show pieces, but my dream body was right off the cargo planes wing. we started to form a connection or a bond. She (actual female, dream personality, not a reference to a machine in the feminine) told me that we were at a very high altitude and expressed her warm concern. she wanted to make sure i was aware of the fact. I wasn’t, so i took note. Being that it was a dream, it was wonderful. I could see almost the whole world. we were so high i could see Europe (still didn’t see the horizon lines of earth though). so at this point i started to to gain dream consciousness, and the air show began to end. I realized i was wearing a parachute. I don’t know if i was part of the show but i began flying around next to this woman/cargo plane.

At some point the air show was certainly over because she communicated to me that she was looking for a place to go. She had 7 days before she had to be back in the US. I was all the way in Europe, so i couldn’t really argue. I communicated that I had never been anywhere in Europe and I was happy to see anything. (Oops… dream mistake, she took me to India. In the dream I thought India was in Europe). I wanted to go to India. she asked if I had been to India and I repeated that I had never been ANYWHERE in Europe. she asked about India and i told her i had never been to India but i wanted to go.

we flew to India.

I was still wearing my parachute. despite the fact that… holy shit i was flying… i still felt the desire to use the chute at some point (never got to, when you can fly, why would you. a chute saves you or stops you and we were having a wonderful time. she was a plane and i was flying. why stop that. who needs to be saved). [Note: oh man, reading back over this warms me up inside!]

anyway, we landed in the middle of what i can piece together is a rooftop courtyard. it was not a rooftop at all but we distinctly descended many stairs in order to end up at the beach. The landing onto the courtyard was effortless. it wasn’t an airplane landing, it was an effortless dream landing. my cargo plane partner was now a woman. i had been holding her wing earlier and now i may have been holding her hand. i cant tell but she was prominently by my side.

we landed and she began taking me somewhere. this is where she actually told me about her 7 days off before returning to the US. apparently it wasn’t a full 7 days, it was 7 days from the time she reached (the ocean??? in the past? Saturday or Sunday? these details are vague). regardless, we were in India and it was at this point that i realized i didn’t have my passport. I was a bit concerned but after a minute of troubleshooting i decided that it would work itself out. (shit, i mean, i flew to India on the wing of a cargo plane/woman). so while that realization was developing, she was leading me out from the courtyard and down to the beach. we floated through the spaces, into rooms and down the stairs. the architecture was intricate. the colors were loud pastels mixed with more conservative wood and earth tones. we floated down a flight of stairs and ended up on a very large balcony. it was somewhat circular and overlooked the water. the water was busy with boats. all the first boats i saw, they were people too. no, more accurately they were dream personalities. personalities i observed interacting with each other but i never met them. at this point i realized we were too low for me to use my parachute. the water was so beautiful. it was a near green with a hint of blue the way tropical water always seems to be. the sunlight was a nice golden color as if the sun was hanging low in the sky. you could see from the light that it was a very warm day but i felt none of it. it was perfection.

we climbed out over the side of the balcony and she began to talk more. we descended large rocks as we approached the water. we had conversations which i can’t seem to remember. the transition is fuzzy and she begins to get lost among all the human and boat personalities in the water. I still am attached to her for parts of the rest of the dream but so much else is happening now.

there is a sand bar. unused boats are stacked on the bar. they are long, flat, unpowered, plastic boats, by far the most common type for just hanging out. but there is wind and the water is crowded near this sand bar. the boats are crashing into each other. one of the boats breaks free and a swimmer shoots out to retrieve it. in the opposite direction i find my dream partner (the cargo plane). she starts to swim back toward the balcony. i follow her and see that there are many personalities watching our movements. it is embarrassing but at this point i want to show off my swimming. my stroke is beautiful and precise. i see my hands entering the water and trading places. i am navigating through the crowded water, weaving my way between all of the people.

i don’t know where my dream went from here.

Wilma’s Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients

  • 3 1/2 cups pumpkin
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 3 Tbsp flour or tapioca
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp allspice
  • 1/8 tsp nutmeg
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 2/12 cups whole milk

mix

… all it says here is:

pour into unbaked pie shells

450 – 12 min 350 – 65 min

clean knife tet   .

which sounds pretty easy.

New Pie

I just made up a new pie for the pie party! It is so freaking good.

Lemon-Ginger Apple Pie

Ingredients

  • Apples, apples, apples
  • 1 tsp fresh grated ginger (I started with 1/2 and added until i was happy)
  • 1/2 of a Lemon, juice only
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup water
  • some salt?
  • 1 tbsp tapioca flour
  • 1/2 cup currants

Prep Directions

Add all ingredients except the tapioca flour to a saucepan. Mix them together over medium heat until all the sugar is melted. in a small container, mix a small amount of the liquid with the tapioca flour. Mix together until there are no clumps and then add it back in to the main mixture. Mix well and incrementally bring the heat up to med-high. You want to make sure that the tapioca paste is well mixed while heating, otherwise you will get nasty jelly clumps. When the mixture is very gelatinous, reduce the heat and prepare the apples.

Baking Directions

Well… actually it is baking right now. I am assuming that I can bake it according to my usual apple pie plan. 425 F for 20 minutes and then turn down to 375 for the remaining 30-40 minutes. I like to take it out early so the apples stay nice and firm.

 

OnePlus One

I just got my CyanogenMod powered phone, the OnePlus. This… omg, this is love. This phone is perfect for me. All I can say is that this phone revitalizes the concept of open source and community developed products. I am so happy to participate in this process.

Android was pretty cool when it came out, and it gets better with every release, but I still find that I am annoyed by how basic it is. HOLY CRAP MAN!!!! CyanogenMod is like android on a ketogenic diet. The thing is thin and fast (so they say) and loaded with options that are actually useful.

I was listening to an activist radio show this morning and the host was talking about how we are a culture centered around sound bites. I think this certainly comes into play for our tech as well. CM and open source software has been stopping that crap dead in its tracks for years now though. I am so proud of my community! They constantly put out products that just …. eeehjhhhuhkasjdhf FEEL right. None of this flashy marketing hype features, just the stuff people (or me, really) would actually use!

I should to an effing infomercial for these people.

“But wait! there’s more. You thought you had to buy a $400 phone just to get CM? No! For this UNlimited time offer, you can download CM and flash your aging smart phone for no payments of anything ever!!!! Yes, act whenever you want and participate in this exciting community. Do you suffer from a carrier who doesn’t care? How about hardware that seems too slow to run the most current software? CM is your answer folks.”

GOD DAMN I am excited. At the ripe age of 30 I still have no idea what path my life will eventually take. Since I first started running Linux though, I have known that I want to be a developer in an open source project. I want to give back to my community. I am almost ready to be a real dev and I am going to hunt that down. yea… by 40 i want to be a contributing member of an important open source project. That is love.

Sunday Brunch

I am a little rusty at this, but I have important things to share. Friends are coming over for the first of a few weekly Sunday Brunches. This week is crepes and I just finished my last of three fillings: Roasted Carrots with Spiced Orange Compote, Lemon Thyme Apples and Onions, and Lemon Mint Portobellos.

I don’t have recipes for these because I just threw them together. Here are some notes that can help you recreate them.

Roasted Carrots:

I roasted the carrots in the oven with butter. The compote is one whole orange, the juice of another, a handful of currants, a bit of water, a lot of white/brown sugar and a lot of walnuts. I cooked it with a stick of cinnamon and the orange rind which were removed at the end. Cooking time for the compote was about 30-60 minutes.

Apples and Onions:

I started by sweating half a sweet onion and half a red onion in a pan with butter. As they turned translucent, I added the thyme and lemon zest along with 4 apples (2 granny smith, 2 braeburn). I let the pan cook on medium-low head with a lid until the apples were soft. I transfered everything into a bread pan and left it in the oven, covered, for 30 minutes.

Portobello Mushrooms:

Soften the portobellos on a medium head with olive oil. Add a bit of lemon zest and salt as needed. Toward the end of the cooking time, add a large handful of chopped mint and a tablespoon of lemon.

Marionberry Pie

I thought I would always be able to look this recipe up online. I just tried to search for it and almost couldn’t find it. I am posting it now so that I always have it in my notebook.

Filling

  • 4 cups Marionberries
  • 3 Tbsp. of flour
  • 2 Tbsp. of lemon juice
  • ½ tsp. of salt
  • ½ cup sugar

I like to mix up the lemon, flour, salt, and sugar into a paste and then drop it over the top of frozen marionberries. As the berries melt, the juice will mix with the paste.

Baking:

  • 450 degrees for 10minutes
  • 350 degrees for 30minutes

Dream Notebook

I found this last night while searching for more things to post. It will need editing eventually, but for now I think it is good enough to share. I originally had the intention that it would be the opening page to my dream notebook.

****************
[original draft: 6/25/2012]

When my son was younger, he was quite afraid of the dark. Night after night as I would tuck him in, he would have the same request, “Dad, can you leave the light on for me?” Having felt the dread of the unknown myself, I had simpathy for his tiny plight. Night after night I left the light on. Until one night. I had seen a film about the astonishing disapearance of our glaciers. Armed with a justification for the greater good of my son, I was prepared to start the battle to get him sleeping with the light off.

The first night, I was on a crusade. When he asked as innocintly as he did every night, “Dad, will you maybe leave the light on tonight?” I tried to be firm. I trued to take comfort in knowing that while he was fighting monsters, I was fighting global worming. As it turns out, his battle was much more tretcherous. When I told him, “I am sorry, tonight we need to have the light off” he bravely pulled them covers up over his nose and nodded. I could feel the dread that was welling up in the eyes that stared back at me. Shutting the light off could not erase that look from my mind. I got no sleep that night.

The next night, overwhelmed with either compassion or tiredness, I decieded a different approach. When my son asked, “Dad, do we need to have the light off again?” I said, “No, we can leave the light on tonight.” All tucked in and safe, I left him for a bit. An hour later when I could no longer hear him tossing the blankets around, I quietly snuck in and shut the light off. This worked for a while until I began to get tired of the game. Then one night when he work up to a dark room, I think the confusion terrified him. He called down the hall to me, “Dad? Are you there?” I walked in, eyes adjusted to the darkness and sat down next to his bed. I asked him what had him so shaken up. He replied, as I suspected, that he was afraid of the dark. There were things that might be waiting to get him. Things that he couldn’t see. Oh the things with sharp teeth that hide so well in the darkness. I told him that I understood his concern but those things don’t like dads. I don’t know how I wove the story together but he was comforted to have me by the side of his bed. As he fell asleep, I fell asleep on the floor beside his bed. During the night, when he would stir, I would reach my hand up and place it on his. I told him that I was still here and that I was still keeping them away.

The next night when I went to tuck him into bed, my son surpried me. He asked, “Dad, why aren’t you afarid of them?” I didn’t quite know how to respond. It is somewhat silly of a question since they clearly don’t exist and I know that I am safe. Yet, he had a good point, even as an adult, the fear of the unknown is quite a overwhelming. As I thought about the problem in more detail I began to understand the nature of the problem. I told him that I was able to keep them away even while I was asleep. Being that this is an attractive skill to a young child, he naturally inquired about how one might learn this skill.

“It is very simple, but it requires a lot of practice. When you close your eyes, what do you see?”

“I see them.”

“and what do they look like?” A question that seemed to almost frighten him more

“They have glowing eyes and big claws…”

“Ah, well there is your problem, they know you see them. If they don’t know you see them, then they won’t both with you. You are no good to them if you don’t pay any attention to them. It is as simple as that. See, when I close my eyes, I don’t see them at all. In fact, I can hardly even see them anymore because of all the other things I see… they are so wonderful.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Well…” I thought for a moment. “Last night, when I closed my eyes I saw the most fantastic thing. Possibly the most fantastic thing I have seen yet. I was sitting in your school’s cafeteria…”

“why were you there?”

“I don’t know. But it was wonderful. Everyone was happy and everyone was enjoying their food. Then all of a sudden I saw a man stand up severl tabled away from me. He picked up his hamburger and flung it directly at my head. As burger was flying toward me I put my hand up and stopped it in mid air. As it hoevered there, everyone marveled at it. I myself didn’t even belive it for a minute. Then I realized what I was able to do. I told everyone else to start a massive food fight. In one instant food was airborn all over the room. As each piece of food began to take flight, I stopped them before they reached their destination.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yes, it was marvalous. I wish you had been there because after that I picked everyone in the room up out of their seats and we becan flying around. You would have loved it.”

And with a great big grin on his face, he told me that he wanted to be able to do that to, but that I should probably keep the light on tonight. I agreed.

The next night he was so excited to tell me what he had seen.

“Dad, you wouldn’t belive it, I was flying last night! I don’t know why, but but when I had the little lego man from my lego set, I was able to fly all around. I flew over our house, I flew over the water, I even flew over the school. But then when I got over the school playground I dropped my lego man and couldn’t stay in the air anymore. I was desparate to find where I dropped him so that I could get back into the air. You wouldn’t believe how many things there are to see when you can fly.”

That night he asked me to shut the light off for him if I kept telling him what I see when I close my eyes. Night after night we have traded stories more wonderful than one could imagine.

A younger me: Part 3 of 3

*** finally stung ***
[Originally posted 7/13/2011]

I got stung today by that bee that was flying around in my shirt for so long. It was exactly as I expected. The pain is tangible finally. My fears are validated and most importantly, the stinger is gone. now I just have to wait it out for the swelling to go down. It remains to be seen if the bee will fly away now that the business is done. I’m not really sure what I’m actually pulling for. I think this is another case where I love the idea of someone and it is blinding me. By all reasonable assesments, she isn’t right for me, but for some crazy reason I keep thinking we fit together. WHAT!!! Almost everytime we hang out I end up stressing out over the next few days about what is going on. I can’t read her for anything and I am being someone completely different than who I really am.

Oh well, I guess I just want to sit and wait to see where the bee goes next since it can’t possible hurt me at this point.

A younger me: Part 2 of 3

This one is about the anxiety of dating. I finally realized that the rejection itself doesn’t really hurt. What freedom!

*** bees… not so bad if they sting you ***
[Originally posted 7/5/2011]

This past weekend I got stung by a bee for the first time in almost 20 years. I got stung once when I was young and I have been scared of them ever since. What an interesting perspective it brought? I realized that it’s not the stinging I mind, it’s the anticipation, the fear, the threat. Not getting stung is worse, way worse. Imagine if you can, a bee flying into your shirt (crap, my hands get all tingly and numb just thinking about it). With its buzzing around and being all angry. Every time it brushes up against you, panic shoots through your skin. Was that it? Did it get me? Am I dead? Again and again it bounces off your skin but still you are unsure of whether you have been stung. Your body begins to take over and you are a spectator as your limbs do the most irrational things. Not once do they swat, smack or hit though. You don’t want to get stung, but then again it’s almost preferable, isn’t it? You just want the anxiety to end. Please just [sting me.] [S]ink your stinger into [deep inside of] me. Once, twice, I don’t care, just validate my fears so I don’t feel crazy. Give me pain so that my mind can rest. The pain you can tolerate. [because] you know it will fade eventually. The fear though, that haunts you constantly.

I do love flowers though…. ah, I guess I will just have to learn to cope with a little fear every now and then.